I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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