Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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