Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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