Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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