i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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