At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize