when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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