I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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