I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
