please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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