idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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