Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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