What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
