It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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