I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
