For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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