So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
