adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
