Everything about him screamed your future.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
