Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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