I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
