You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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