This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
