matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
