If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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