I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
