Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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