He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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