love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
