I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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