My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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