We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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