Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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