A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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