Kiss
Puke
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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