I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize