Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
