You're completely useless in the revolution.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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