Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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