he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize