Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
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