I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
