I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
