maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
