So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?