she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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