At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that