When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug