just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
