I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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