weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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