Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
