I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
