if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
