hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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