So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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