Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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