I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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