Soap is not a condiment
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
