I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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