Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
