Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
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I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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