So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
