you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
