I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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