We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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