You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
